Find Your Passion

So I haven't posted for ages! It's not that I don't have anything to say because I do! It's just that I have been so busy FINALLY doing what it is I was meant to do! Woo hoo!

For those of you who read my blog (all 3 of you! Hi!) you know that I have struggled as an adult to find my "thing".  The thing that I am supposed to be doing with my life. Well, praise the lord y'all because I have found it and I couldn't be happier.

I am a certified children's yoga teacher! WHOOP WHOOP!

The thing that I wanted to share with y'all about this though is that it is never too late to be who you might have been. I am pushing 40 (eek!) and I was freaked out that I was never going to find my passion. But the truth of the matter is, I already knew what my passion was, I just wasn't paying attention.

I went to school and got a degree in Child Development. I worked at a before and after school child care program at an elementary school (still one of my favorite jobs I have ever had). I worked in an infant room at a intergenerational learning center. I worked as an Assistant Center Director at a child care center. I nannied. See, the recurring theme here? KIDS! Kids are my jam! I LOVE being an Auntie more than anything in the world and I love working with children of all ages.

And y'all know I love yoga! Not to repeat myself (but I am going to repeat myself), yoga saved my life 7 years ago. We had just spread my Moms ashes and I was spiraling...fast, and one day I found myself on a yoga mat in a studio in Austin and my life changed forever. I know it seems so cliche but it's true. I had been sitting in the parking lot of that studio for a week, too scared to go in. So many doubts and fears and sadness. But that day that I finally decided to step through those doors into a HOT yoga class (nice slow introduction there Becks) I knew I had found where I belong. I sweated, I cried (literally) and I felt so much release inside of me. I knew in that  moment at the end of class, laying on my mat in savasana that I was going to be ok.

I have thought for a long time that my path was teaching yoga. Heck, I have signed up (and paid) for TWO yoga teacher trainings, one in Ohio and one here in Texas, and I quit. Ugh! That stinks to say that out loud but I did quit. Let's be honest. I was afraid of so many things. And I thought that there was only one way of doing things and that if I didn't do it the way I was "supposed" to do it, then why even bother doing it at all.

While I was still signed up for the teacher training in Texas, my sister asked me to come and teach yoga to the kids in her summer program that she runs. I was super excited about it...and scared shitless! But I was signed up for the teacher training so I thought but the time summer rolled around, I would be ready. Well, we already know how that turned out. I backed out of the training but I had made a commitment to my sister (I am great at keeping my commitments to others...myself, not so much) I already had a ton of kids yoga books at home because it was always in the back of my mind that I would like to teach yoga to children someday. So I figured, I can probably squeak something out that the kids will think is fun.

The first day I taught I was sick to my stomach with nerves and self doubt. Same old Becks was rearing her ugly head. I can't do this. The kids won't like me. I don't know what I am doing. But the minute the first group walked into my class, all my nerves and fear just melted away. I taught that class, then I taught 4 more that day. At the end of the day, I knew...this is what I am meant to do. I am actually good at this! WHAT?!

I immediately went home and started researching ways to get certified as a children's yoga instructor. There is the traditional way...to become a certified registered yoga teacher through a 200 hour Yoga Alliance approved course for adults, then go on to take an additional 90 hour course through Yoga Alliance to become certified to teach kids. But that just wasn't going to work for me. I already knew that the traditional training wasn't the way to go for me (hence, quitting TWICE) Finally, after A LOT of research, I stumbled across Cosmic Kids Yoga which is based out of England. First of all, the woman who runs it Jaime Amor is adorable and listening to her accent just brings me back home, and secondly, the courses were laid out in a way that I did it mostly on my own. My own time, my own pace, and my own way. That's what I had been looking for all along. To be able to find my own way to do something that made me feel comfortable and confident. The courses were amazing, so informative and the materials that were available to me were brilliant. After I completed all the coursework, I uploaded a video of me teaching for her to evaluate. My sweet nieces helped me make the video and it was an agonizing 3 weeks waiting for the results. In that 3 weeks of waiting all my old doubts and fears resurfaced. You aren't good enough. You are not going to succeed.

Finally, my video evaluation arrived and I couldn't believe it. Here was Jaime, on video, saying all of these wonderful lovely things about me and my teaching. I think I watched that 10 minute video from her like 50 times. It's quite nice hearing someone say nice things about you :)

So I came up with a business name, I designed a website, I designed a logo, I made business cards and here I am. Becky May, certified children's yoga teacher AND owner of my own business, Little Lotuses Yoga!

My whole point of this story is just that it really is never too late to be what you might have been. Sometimes fear can be a huge roadblock, but take it from me, it will never get you what you want. Figure out your passion and fight to make it happen for yourself. If you are 21, almost 40, 65, or 92. You are in control of your own destiny. You hold the key to your own happiness. Go out and do it! Fear be damned!

(Shameless plug...check out my website at www.littlelotuses.com or my FB page Little Lotuses Yoga)