Forever isn't long enough...

13 years ago my life changed forever.

I was living in Minnesota and Mike was living in Indiana. We met in a chat room (cringe) and he was the first person that popped up on my screen. We bonded over the fact that we were both going through tough divorces and for the next 6 months, we shared everything about our lives with one another, the good, the bad and the ugly.  We became best friends and through our deep friendship, we fell in love.

6 months later, on October 7th 2005, we met in person and had our first date in Chicago. I didn't tell anyone that I was going except for my sister, and I didn't tell her much except that I was flying to Chicago to meet a guy I had never met. As I was coming down the escalator to baggage claim at O'Hare, I saw him waiting for me at the bottom. My heart caught in my chest and I knew in that instant that this was the man that I was going to marry.

After an amazing weekend together in Chicago, as we sat holding hands in the airport, waiting to catch flights to different states, we decided that this was it. We were going to figure out a way to be together, no matter what.

Two weeks later Mike flew to visit me for a weekend in Minnesota and the next time I saw him he was moving in with me. We spent 5 days together TOTAL before he moved to Minnesota to live me on November 15th... 39 days after we had first met in person.

We kept two separate apartments because I was too scared to tell my parents that I met a guy online who was 20 years older than me, flew to Chicago to meet him alone, and had let him move in with me. We lived together in one apartment, the other was his office/hideout for when my parents came to visit. Of course, after the first time they met him, the fell totally in love with him. So much so that I joked if it came down to it, they would choose Mike over me!


2 years later on November 28th, 2007, Mike proposed to me. I was down in the basement of our
house in Lake City, running on the treadmill. I was sweaty and gross and grumpy. Mike called down the stairs to say that he had a treat for me. My first thought was "oooooo, chocolate I hope!" I came upstairs and was met with two champagne flutes and some champagne. My second thoughts was "so, no chocolate then I guess" ;)



On the dining room table was a large wrapped gift box. I unwrapped the paper and opened the box, to find another box, to find another box, to find another box, to find another box, until I came to ring box. With tears streaming down my face, Mike gets down on one knee and asks me to be his wife.  I stink...I am so sweaty and smelly but in that moment I had never felt more special or more loved.

3 years (and 4 moves later) we got married in the backyard of our first home in Texas under a beautiful wood arbor that Mike made himself, especially for us.

The day before the wedding, my best friend Melissa and I went to JC Penney and bought my dress off of the clearance rack for $15. The morning of the wedding Mike and I picked up donuts for breakfast and our car broke down on the way home. Later that morning, Melissa and I purchased all the flowers from the grocery store down the street. We decorated the house with decorations that I made myself the week before. I did my own hair and makeup and wore a flower clip from Target in my hair. Mike wore shorts and Birkenstocks that he had that were older than me.

There were only 10 guests, including Mike and I. There were 12 if you count the officiant and the photographer...14 if you count the dogs, Lola and Sandy.

The officiant allowed us to write our own ceremony word for word, which we painstakingly did, picking out the most perfect poems and just the right words...which he then proceeded to do NONE of and just did his own thing.

After the ceremony, in all the excitement, my Mom threw handfuls of confetti RIGHT in my open mouth and I almost choked from laughing so hard.

We had food catered in from a local BBQ joint and a local woman made cupcakes (in her own kitchen) for us instead of a traditional cake. This was before cupcakes were cool.

There were touching, tear-jerking speeches and cheers and toasts all around.

We played darts and bocce ball in the backyard and drank champagne and sweet tea.

It wasn't fancy. It wasn't traditional. Things went wrong.

It was small and intimate and filled with SO much laughter and even more love.

It was absolutely perfect!

10 years and 6 more moves later, here we are. Our 10th wedding anniversary. Some were skeptical at first. We were both coming off of unhappy marriages, not to mention the 20 year age difference but none of that ever mattered to us. We knew the minute we first laid eyes on each other in the baggage claim at O'Hare that this was where we were meant to be. Neither of us have ever doubted it for one second. It hasn't always been easy or perfect, but nothing ever is. It has been a life filled with too many adventures to count, and more love than I could have ever dreamed of.

10 years ago, I married my best friend. The man who makes me laugh until my sides hurt everyday. The man who loves me just as I am, scars and all. The man who I didn't even see coming.

We have a sign that hangs in out house that pretty much sums up our relationship...

"Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, LOVE gives us a fairytale"

Find Your Passion

So I haven't posted for ages! It's not that I don't have anything to say because I do! It's just that I have been so busy FINALLY doing what it is I was meant to do! Woo hoo!

For those of you who read my blog (all 3 of you! Hi!) you know that I have struggled as an adult to find my "thing".  The thing that I am supposed to be doing with my life. Well, praise the lord y'all because I have found it and I couldn't be happier.

I am a certified children's yoga teacher! WHOOP WHOOP!

The thing that I wanted to share with y'all about this though is that it is never too late to be who you might have been. I am pushing 40 (eek!) and I was freaked out that I was never going to find my passion. But the truth of the matter is, I already knew what my passion was, I just wasn't paying attention.

I went to school and got a degree in Child Development. I worked at a before and after school child care program at an elementary school (still one of my favorite jobs I have ever had). I worked in an infant room at a intergenerational learning center. I worked as an Assistant Center Director at a child care center. I nannied. See, the recurring theme here? KIDS! Kids are my jam! I LOVE being an Auntie more than anything in the world and I love working with children of all ages.

And y'all know I love yoga! Not to repeat myself (but I am going to repeat myself), yoga saved my life 7 years ago. We had just spread my Moms ashes and I was spiraling...fast, and one day I found myself on a yoga mat in a studio in Austin and my life changed forever. I know it seems so cliche but it's true. I had been sitting in the parking lot of that studio for a week, too scared to go in. So many doubts and fears and sadness. But that day that I finally decided to step through those doors into a HOT yoga class (nice slow introduction there Becks) I knew I had found where I belong. I sweated, I cried (literally) and I felt so much release inside of me. I knew in that  moment at the end of class, laying on my mat in savasana that I was going to be ok.

I have thought for a long time that my path was teaching yoga. Heck, I have signed up (and paid) for TWO yoga teacher trainings, one in Ohio and one here in Texas, and I quit. Ugh! That stinks to say that out loud but I did quit. Let's be honest. I was afraid of so many things. And I thought that there was only one way of doing things and that if I didn't do it the way I was "supposed" to do it, then why even bother doing it at all.

While I was still signed up for the teacher training in Texas, my sister asked me to come and teach yoga to the kids in her summer program that she runs. I was super excited about it...and scared shitless! But I was signed up for the teacher training so I thought but the time summer rolled around, I would be ready. Well, we already know how that turned out. I backed out of the training but I had made a commitment to my sister (I am great at keeping my commitments to others...myself, not so much) I already had a ton of kids yoga books at home because it was always in the back of my mind that I would like to teach yoga to children someday. So I figured, I can probably squeak something out that the kids will think is fun.

The first day I taught I was sick to my stomach with nerves and self doubt. Same old Becks was rearing her ugly head. I can't do this. The kids won't like me. I don't know what I am doing. But the minute the first group walked into my class, all my nerves and fear just melted away. I taught that class, then I taught 4 more that day. At the end of the day, I knew...this is what I am meant to do. I am actually good at this! WHAT?!

I immediately went home and started researching ways to get certified as a children's yoga instructor. There is the traditional way...to become a certified registered yoga teacher through a 200 hour Yoga Alliance approved course for adults, then go on to take an additional 90 hour course through Yoga Alliance to become certified to teach kids. But that just wasn't going to work for me. I already knew that the traditional training wasn't the way to go for me (hence, quitting TWICE) Finally, after A LOT of research, I stumbled across Cosmic Kids Yoga which is based out of England. First of all, the woman who runs it Jaime Amor is adorable and listening to her accent just brings me back home, and secondly, the courses were laid out in a way that I did it mostly on my own. My own time, my own pace, and my own way. That's what I had been looking for all along. To be able to find my own way to do something that made me feel comfortable and confident. The courses were amazing, so informative and the materials that were available to me were brilliant. After I completed all the coursework, I uploaded a video of me teaching for her to evaluate. My sweet nieces helped me make the video and it was an agonizing 3 weeks waiting for the results. In that 3 weeks of waiting all my old doubts and fears resurfaced. You aren't good enough. You are not going to succeed.

Finally, my video evaluation arrived and I couldn't believe it. Here was Jaime, on video, saying all of these wonderful lovely things about me and my teaching. I think I watched that 10 minute video from her like 50 times. It's quite nice hearing someone say nice things about you :)

So I came up with a business name, I designed a website, I designed a logo, I made business cards and here I am. Becky May, certified children's yoga teacher AND owner of my own business, Little Lotuses Yoga!

My whole point of this story is just that it really is never too late to be what you might have been. Sometimes fear can be a huge roadblock, but take it from me, it will never get you what you want. Figure out your passion and fight to make it happen for yourself. If you are 21, almost 40, 65, or 92. You are in control of your own destiny. You hold the key to your own happiness. Go out and do it! Fear be damned!

(Shameless plug...check out my website at www.littlelotuses.com or my FB page Little Lotuses Yoga)