Happy Birthday Mom!

                    

Dear Mom,

Today is your birthday! Woo hoo! I know you are up there celebrating because that's what you do! Your birthday was always your favorite day of the year. Any excuse to celebrate and have fun was your thing! And don't worry, everyone remembers...even though you aren't here to remind us all every five seconds like you used to LOL

I know that you know how I feel about you. We were always good about that, sharing our feelings, never letting any moment go by without telling each other how much we loved each other. But I wanted to say thank you, again, for everything that you have given me.

I am who I am because of you. Your kindness, your compassion, your open heart, your love of life...all of these beautiful qualities, I owe to you. You taught me to always follow my heart. To be afraid but do it anyway. To face adversity with strength and grace. To have faith in the journey. And to love with everything I have in me. Thank you for that.

You were my confidante, and my biggest cheerleader. You listened and never judged. Everyday, I wish I could chat with you over a cup of tea about what's going on in my life. I want your advice. I want your hugs. I want to hear you laugh.

I will never stop missing you. I will never get over losing you. I have learned how to live with it but the deep aching pain in my heart will never leave me. You are gone. There's a hole where you used to be that nothing can ever replace.

But I also want you to know that I am so grateful and very happy! Having you as my Mom, even though it was cut way too short, was the BEST gift I have ever been given! I am so lucky to have been able to have you in my life, to teach me, to guide me and to love me.

So birthday girl...in your honor, I will kick off my shoes, crank up the tunes, and dance with wild abandon....and then I will eat chocolate!

Happy Birthday beautiful angel!

Wanderlust: Leading You Home

Sometimes it takes a while for your heart to catch up to your brain...or vice versa. Life's full of twists and turns. There are so many paths you can choose, so many journeys and adventures you can go on, and there is no right or wrong path to take. Just different ones. Each one leads you to unexpected experiences and outcomes that you never knew possible. It can introduce to things you never knew or remind of things you already did. Sometimes...the path can lead you back down a familiar road, one that you have already taken.

They call us the Gypsies. For good reason I suppose. My husband and I have been together for 12 years and have lived in 8 different homes and 4 different states. We are adventurers, risk takers, explorers. People joke that we often go somewhere on vacation and then we move there. They are not entirely speaking untruths. We learned long ago, from past experiences, that life is short and not guaranteed, so we choose to live our lives with joy and follow wherever our hearts lead us. Home is where we make it...as long as we are together. We have carved out this life for ourselves and have designed it in a way that makes it pretty easy to pick up and hitch up our gypsy wagon and move on to the next place, the next adventure.

For the past 8 months we have lived in paradise on an island on the Gulf coast of Florida. It has been so wonderful and we have had a blast. But paradise, my friends, is not a place, it's a state of mind. You can have paradise wherever you go if you choose to open your eyes and find it. Find the joy in the ordinary, open your heart, live life to the fullest and you will find that paradise lay within you all along.

Paradise can be found right where you left it...at home.

What is home? It means something different to everyone. To me, it means love, it means family. It doesn't necessarily mean a place you hang your hat. What makes someplace a home is who you get to share it with. The love and the laughter that fills the walls. Home to me is being wrapped in my husbands arms. As long as I am with him, I am home.

But...something has been missing for me for a while now. I can try and chase different dreams and see what fulfills my soul but I keep coming back to this one sticking point...family. I miss my family desperately.  After my Mom passed away in 2010 all I wanted to do was to escape. It was so painful of a loss that I just wanted to get away. So we moved...multiple times (lol) and each place we went was amazing! And I am not just saying that. It really is true. Each place we have experienced has taught me things about myself. Each place has shown me something new. Each place has gifted us with amazing people. Each place has opened my eyes to the world around me and for that I am grateful.

But I think it's time. I think it's time that I went back home. Not to the original place I called home but to the place where my most favorite people are.  I think y'all get where this post is going now...

After many long late night discussions with my husband, who is the most supportive man in the world and just gets me 100%, we have decided to hitch up our gypsy wagon, one more time, and head back to Texas. For as much as love adventuring, at the heart of who we both are, is two people who are homebodies. Love and family is at the core of what makes us tick.

We both want to be in the thick of it with our two nieces. School plays, choir concerts, music performances, first dates, drivers licenses, graduation, college, weddings. When they look back on their lives, I want them to know exactly just how much their Auntie and Uncle loved them and all of the great memories we made together. I don't want to just be someone who flies in for birthdays or holidays. I want to be a real part of their lives.

I know I don't need to explain myself to anyone but it's in my nature to share. My heart and my life are an open book. People may judge us for our decisions but the thing is, our life is our journey and its up to us to decide where we let it take us. As long as we are together we know it will be amazing.

It's up to all of us, to choose our paths and follow where our hearts lead. Life is too short to sit around and wait for tomorrow. Tomorrow may never come around. We only get one ride. Shouldn't it be filled with the stuff that makes our hearts sing?!

Dear Me....

A letter to my younger self....


Dear one,

Be brave. Life is difficult and you will experience heartbreak and sorrow of unimaginable proportions ...but you will survive. You are stronger than you think. Trust your gut. Don't be so afraid of everything. Try new things, take risks, and don't give up on yourself or dreams because things get hard. Keep trying. When one door closes, look for another one. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Don't let your heart be treated unkindly. You are amazing and kind and worthy of love. Always remember that.  Even when your heart is breaking into a million pieces, remember your worth. Shine bright and don't let anyone dull your sparkle. You are one of a kind, be proud of who you are. Share your heart with the world and spread love everywhere you go. Stop doubting yourself. Be gentle with yourself. No one is perfect and everyone is different, that's what makes the world so awesome. Believe in yourself and what you have to offer to the world. Love yourself, just as you are. Don't regret the past, choose to learn from it. Cherish time with loved ones because life is short and there are no guarantees. Your life will be filled with so many amazing things, never forget to be grateful. Have fun. Laugh a lot. Always be kind.

Love,  Me xxx