My weight is not who I am...

I have an obsession...and it's not a healthy one. I am obsessed with my weight. Not just like oh I am unhappy with weight, like a full blown I have a mental breakdown if the scale doesn't say what I want it too obsession.

I am 100% all for body positivity! I can preach to my friends and other women all day about loving your body and accepting yourself. And I believe it when I say it to my friends. I see their beauty. But, I do not practice what I preach. I try and I fail on a daily basis. 

Yesterday was a tough day for me. I had a complete meltdown over my weight. Here's the kicker....it was over a 3 pound gain that took place over a month long period! 3 lousy little insignificant pounds! Even typing it out sounds so ridiculous!

The scale is my enemy, or at least I have made it my enemy. I base my self worth on what number I see. If it's a good number then I am happy, if it's a "bad" number then I lose my shit. It will throw me into a spiral of depression and despite all of the wonderful things happening in my life, I will focus on that damn number. 

I felt better when I woke up this morning but even my Bestie noticed it today when we were together and totally called me out on it. I have to STOP obsessing. I have to stop being mean to myself. I have to start putting into practice what I tell all the other women in my life...to love myself, fully and wholly, not just when a number tells me it's ok to love myself.

Its time to start obsessing about the things I love about myself. Focus on what makes me a good human being, on what I offer to the world. My weight does not dictate who I am. I am not a number on the scale. If I am honest with myself, I am pretty sure that the people that matter in my life do not see a number when they look at me. They see my heart and my spirit shining through.

I am throwing away the scale. I am taking back my power. I am going to start looking at myself through the same eyes I look at the people who matter to me...with eyes of love.

Love Conquers All

Most of our hearts have been taking a beating as we process all of the hatred that has been happening lately. It's been a rough few days...let's face it, it's been a rough lifetime.

We live in a country where we pride ourselves on our rights to speak our minds and believe in what we want. Despite that though, there are those who believe more in intolerance and hate than love.

It's time to remember who we are as human beings. That if we get down to it, despite the fact that we are all different and unique and special in our way, we are still human. We still all want the same things in life...to be who we are and be accepted..to love and be loved. It's time to be decent human beings to each other. To spread love and kindness. To stand together and stand tall.

Love conquers all and will always outshine hate. Let's remember that now, let us never forget. Enough is enough. We cannot allow the hate to win. To overshadow all the goodness and light. Love will always win if we stand together. 

So let's stand together now. If you see someone who needs your light, share it. If there's someone who needs your love, give it. If there's someone who needs your shoulder, lend it. We are stronger together and we are stronger with love as our uniting front.

Shine On

There will always be people who don't like you. No matter what. Not everyone will understand your dreams, desires or your heart. The key is to let their negativity bounce off of you and to not allow them to dull your sparkle. You are not for everyone and that's ok.

But, you are definitely for some and those people will love you fiercely, just the way you are. Focus your heart on them. Be yourself. Surround yourself with those who lift you up. Celebrate each other. Be proud of who you are. Make no apologies. Life is just way too short to spend your life being ashamed or hiding who you are. Let nothing or no one dim that light that shines from within.

As Dr. Seuss said, "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

It's the Little Things

Happiness for me is...

A sugary cup of tea
Chocolate, of any kind
Painted toenails
A nectarine so juicy it dribbles all over my chin
Sex
Laughter, especially my husbands when he giggles like a little boy
The ocean
Dogs
My family and friends
A new planner or water bottle (I have an addiction)
Being organized
Freshly laundered sheets
The smell of coffee
Collecting shells
Yoga
Being in nature
Walks
Singing at the top of lungs when no one is around
Dancing
Books, real ones
My Mom's shortbread
Tattoos
Flip flops
Manatees
Love
Children
Big earrings
Music
A ripe banana
Just shaven, silky smooth legs
A mason jar full of flowers
The way my husbands foot has to touch mine at night in bed
Pajamas
Taking photographs
Funny autocorrects when I text
Cuddling
Sunshine


What makes you happy? Take a minute to think about all the little blessings in your life that make you smile.